God hates divorce. Divorce wreaks havoc on men, women, and children. It tears down families and hurts societies. Divorce destroys something that God has created – a union between a man and a woman.
Since God hates divorce, he prohibits it.
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
Matthew 5:32
God prohibits divorce – with only one exception.
If a spouse commits adultery, the other spouse is free to divorce.
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9
God hates divorce, but he allows it in cases of adultery.
Marriage is a Divine Union
When a man and a woman join together sexually in marriage, they are joined together by God.
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:5-6
Sex causes a divine connection to occur between and man and a woman. God establishes this union, and he doesn’t want it broken. This is why he prohibits divorce.
This divine connection occurs whenever people have sex. Even if they are unmarried.
Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”
1 Corinthians 6:16
If a man has sex with a prostitute, both of them become one flesh. The term “one flesh” is the same term that God uses to describe the union between a husband and wife. Although a man and a prostitute aren’t married, their union is similar to the union that occurs within a marriage.
Adultery, like prostitution, creates a union between two people. If a married person commits adultery, he becomes one flesh with another person who is not his spouse.
This is why adultery is particularly bad.
Adultery creates another “one-flesh” union and thereby breaks the one-flesh union with a spouse. Since adultery breaks the divine union of a marriage, it breaks a marriage. This is why adultery is the only reason that God permits divorce.
Deeper Meanings
Jesus said, “If a divorced person remarries another person, he commits adultery.” In other words, if a person has a faithful spouse but divorces her and marries someone else, his remarriage is adultery.
Bob and Jane are faithful to each other. Neither commits adultery. Yet Bob does not like Jane any more and divorces her. Then Bob goes out and marries Sally. Bob’s remarriage to Sally is adultery according to Jesus.
Why is sex within a second marriage adultery?
The reason Bob’s sex with his new wife is adultery is because his first wife Jane was faithful to Bob and never committed adultery, even after they were divorced. Therefore in God’s eyes Bob is still married to Jane. Because Jane was faithful to Bob, the “one-flesh” union between Bob and Jane was still in effect. But when Bob married his new wife, he began committing adultery against Jane.
Legal Documents are Not Enough to Truly End a Marriage
One important implication of this is that in God’s eyes, a legal document from a judge granting a divorce does not actually end a marriage. Even if people get divorce papers through a human court, those people are still married in God’s eyes (as long as neither of them have joined sexually with anyone else).
Marriage is more than a construct of the state, it is instituted by God. It takes more than the state to dissolve a marriage.
Legal documents do not end a marriage. There is only one thing that ends a marriage and frees a spouse to remarry. Adultery.
Adultery ends a marriage. The only way a person can divorce and remarry according to God is if the other spouse commits adultery.
(Of course, adultery can be forgiven. With forgiveness and willing hearts, marriages can be restored. An adulterous person can repent. If he does, the couple can renew their commitment to each other and start afresh. In such instances, it would probably be wrong to suddenly divorce a spouse for adultery committed years earlier that had been forgiven.)
Post-Divorce Adultery
Another interesting implication of Jesus’ teaching about divorce is that adultery can happen pre-divorce or post-divorce. This is why Jesus calls remarriage post-divorce adultery.
For example, when Bob divorced Jane and married Sally, his marriage to Sally was adulterous. After Bob committed adultery with Sally by marrying her, Jane became free to marry someone else. Her union with Bob was broken. And if Bob had not married Sally post-divorce but had sex with Sally anyway, that would also have been adultery. In either case, Jane would have been free to remarry someone else.
If both spouses are faithful to each other during marriage and also post-divorce, neither one is allowed to remarry. If Bob and Jane divorce, but neither has a sexual relationship with anyone else, then they must remain single or be reconciled to each other as long as they both are alive. (This fact does not justify divorce, for divorce is always a sin in the absence of adultery.)
However, if one spouse chooses to marry someone else or have a sexual relationship with someone else, then he commits adultery. In such a case, when adultery has occurred, the union of the first marriage is dissolved, and the second (innocent) spouse is free to remarry without sin.
Conclusion
The Bible teaches that divorce is a sin, and it is only permissible in cases of adultery. Legal divorce papers (apart from adultery) do not end a marriage. After a spouse commits adultery, the innocent spouse is free to divorce and remarry. Divorce for any other reason other than adultery is prohibited. If a person disobeys God and divorces without any adultery having happened, he cannot remarry unless his spouse has sex with someone else. According to Jesus, adultery can happen pre-divorce or post-divorce.
As Christians navigate the complicated circumstances surrounding divorce, it is important to think carefully through these teachings of Christ and understand their implications.
Bethel Cornerstone 